Monthly Archives: May 2010

study guilt

So the exam is over and I did okay.  With exam’s my sole intention is to pass – which I did, and I am happy with my efforts.  So the ‘exam’ box can be ticked. Good.

Now we just have 5 days of intensive essay writing to get through.  I am usually a lot more organised with essay writing, but after having the flu for 2 weeks I am way out of schedule and am desperate to get words on paper.

However, a little side issue of all this study emphasise, is the reality of trying to get a lot of study done when you have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old.  The girls are generally busy, active little girls that need fairly constant stimulation and supervision – unless they are watching a movie.  Movie’s are normally a treat and are used for special occasions (and let’s be totally honest, ABC kids is often used when the bathroom needs cleaning and when I don’t want the girls in the kitchen if I am using the stove top).  But generally the tv is off more than it’s on.  Except for this week.  I need to get this essay done, and by the time the girls are in bed at night, my brain is basically on overdrive (or off), so I need them occupied while I try to write.  Mother’s guilt is an incredible thing.  I know that one week of more than usual tv watching is not neglectful nor will it damage them developmentally – but I feel so guilty about it!  It is crazy.  It is the constant voice in your head, ‘do this, do that, do that better’.  The internal pressure that mum’s put themselves under is unnecessary, unhelpful and mostly unfounded.  We can be our own worst enemies.

So while I sit here writing this and waiting for a NT Wright document to download, Mary Poppins’ is in the background singing with animated penguins and the girls are smiling with delight.  I think the girls are going to be okay!


I have an exam tomorrow morning.  I am very keen to get it over and done with, even though I would like a few more days to study (study is confined to after the girls go to sleep and when I do, so usually between 7pm – 8pm!).

The exam has a number of components, but one of them is being able to summarise every -yes, every – book in the bible.  There are a lot of books in the bible!! I have actually enjoyed studying for this part of the exam.  It is a useful tool to possess and will come in handy (I hope!).  Getting a bird’s-eye view of the books has been quite fascinating and has breathed new life into some of the books, giving them a new slant I hadn’t seen before.  For example, Deuteronomy – covenant renewal, Ezekiel – God is sovereign, Titus – the proper traits of the church and, Philemon – forgiveness and brotherhood in Christ.

Maybe I should try studying instead of writing this…off I go!

(7 days to go! In case you were wondering!)

being sick

In a time of sickness the soul collects itself anew. Latin proverb

(let’s hope so)

the end is nigh

Avoidance hasn’t even been the name of the game in regards to study this semester.

In fact, I think plain old ‘over it’ has been.  And it’s not like I’m not enjoying the lectures, it’s just been a long slog. Part time study is hard work.  I wish for the days when I had the time and energy to focus on study. But the end is nigh, and I must choose to focus!

So all that being said, my last essay is on the topic of ‘the covenant’ and tracking the theme of the covenant through the Old and New Testament.  Lovely! (as much as I try to deny it, the fact that I would use the word ‘lovely’ in regards to an essay topic is glaring proof that I’m a nerd!).  I am enjoying the topic, it is chunky and relevant and a lovely reminder of God’s unwavering commitment to humanity.  I have also discovered that NT Wright has some fabulous things to say on the topic, which is making research fascinating and has probably sent the essay in a direction I hadn’t imagined it would go.

This essay is my final piece before I end my Grad Dip, it’s hard to believe it is finally over.  But (baring a fail) in 24 days, it will all be over. Horray for that!


I know it has been very quiet here of late, and I have a very good reason for lying low (details to come), but I felt I should break the mini drought to say – it’s my birthday today!! And while birthday’s don’t really register these days (particularly post kids), the reason I wanted to say ‘it’s my birthday’ is because my AMAZING husband bought me this gorgeous nancybird bag.

I am spoilt beyond reason.