Over on ‘the Heir to Blair‘, ‘Blair’ introduced an interesting discussion about ‘working mums’ and ‘stay at home mums’. By these definitions I am a ‘stay at home mum’, which is neither here nor there because it has never been necessary for me to identify with either term. But I think that identifying with a term can help in the day-to-day ordinariness of life – it gives us boundaries and identity – it helps us know where we fit. On the whole I imagine that such ‘labels’ are used primarily for that purpose – not as a reflection of anyone else’s life or their choices.
But it did demonstrate, again, how we can be our own worst enemies, can’t we?
Why do we need to compare our lives and our choices to others? Why do we feel the need to justify them? Why does labelling yourself as a ‘stay at home mum’ have to bother a ‘working mum’? Or vice versa?
It is hard enough, and tiring enough, and perpetually disheartening enough, without feeling like we are competing with every other mother out there. Let’s give our selves a break, hey?