Category Archives: quotes

dualism

I was in class for the majority of last weekend (History of the World Christian Movement) and my lecturer made the following comment,

‘modernity created dualism on steroids’. 

I like it a lot .  Sadly it is the only thing I remember from the class at this stage.  Hopefully I will recall more.

Hopefully.

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anniversary

Last week marked the 2 years since our little girl was critically ill.  Let me say up front that nowadays she is remarkably un-affected.  There are still ongoing concerns with her respiratory and immune system, but overall, she is amazing and well. 

It is interesting to me that I am so aware of this particular date. I am notorious for not remembering anniversaries.  I honestly can’t tell you the date we got married (bad hey?).  But I have noticed that leading up to this date I get edgy and teary.   And when the day is over, I am fine.  It has been an interesting journey away from that time in our lives and the further away we get, the better.

  

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.  Mark Twain

I didn’t choose to pick up this particular cat (metaphorically speaking), but it happened and we have had to deal with the consequences.  Physically (for our girl) the scars have faded quickly and successfully.  For those issues that remain we have hope that they will diminish entirely in the future.  For me the issue of her being ill is still raw and painful and I don’t like thinking about it too much.  However I know that I have learnt much about the person our girl is.  She is sassy and courageous, cheeky and strong.  I am in awe at her ability to fight and giggle. 

But I think that there is still much for me to learn about myself and my faith in light of her being ill.  The ongoing, constant search for the truth about who I am, who God is and how this whole thing fits together is exhausting.  But I know it is necessary.  I don’t want my understanding of God to be compromised because I got tired.         

Family life is full of major and minor crises — the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce — and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It’s difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul. Thomas Moore


names

IMG_5277I was having coffee with a dear friend recently and she asked me what my girls names mean.  We had a fascinating conversation about names and how they become an intrinsic part of who you are and how you live.  (We also ate scones with peach jam and contemplated the lost joy of  a good Sunday roast! x).

Before each of the girls were born and we were going through the whole naming process, meanings became really important to us.  I know that for some people it is fairly irrelevant.  But we both believed that naming a child was a collaborative effort with God.  While we didn’t have any great flash of lightening moment and a burning bush (struck by the lightening!!) spoke and proceeded to tell us what to name our girls, we did believe that God was involved.  Names are powerful and they become part of who we are and how we define ourselves.  So we wanted names that we felt were strong and would help the girls appreciate who they were and how we, and God, saw them. 

Between the two girls we have grace, beauty, purity and one of the most beautiful places we have ever been!  Absolute bias aside, we see grace, beauty and purity in our girls and pray that their lives will defined by these elements. 

Fredrick Buechner puts it like this: ‘Buechner is my name. It is pronounced Beekner.  If somebody mispronounces my name in some foolish way, I have the feeling that what’s foolish is me.  If somebody forgets it, I feel that it’s I who am forgotten.  I can’t imagine myself with any other name – Held, say, or Merrill, or Hlavacek.  If my name were different, I would be different.  When I tell you my name, I have given you  a hold over me that you didn’t have before.  If you call it out, I stop, look, and listen whether I want to or not.  In the book of Exodus, God tells Moses that his name is Yahweh and God hasn’t had a peaceful moment since‘.

My name is a direct translation of the Greek word katharos (καθαρός) meaning pure.  I have a friend who only ever calls me katharos – and I love it.  There is something deeply personal about it and it also a very real reminder of who I am. 

I hope I’m not overstating it, but I do believe there is something significant in our names.  I hope so, espcially for my pure, beatiful, gracious girls.


these are a few of my favourite things…

‘That’s the best pumpkin based birthday cake I’ve ever had!’ – TS

‘I startled a weasel who startled me, and we exchanged a long glance. . . . Our eyes locked, and someone threw away the key.’ – Annie Dillard

‘Lets sit down and have a cup of tea and you can say the words in the book to me’. – my 3 year old daughter


sigh

I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck I’ve come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty bats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them…   

 – Annie Dillard

 

…sigh…